zenicurean ([info]zenicurean) wrote,
@ 2009-06-23 16:04:00
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This is madness.
I'm obliged to inform you that the trees have gone insane and are having sex with everything.

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[info]matrexius
2009-06-23 01:18 pm UTC (link)
You're going to have to post this on YouTube.

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[info]dukesnorre
2009-06-23 05:15 pm UTC (link)
snot everywhere and you want a video? blegh :(

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 01:52 am UTC (link)
This stuff is going to pop out Pod People, I just know it.

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(Photos courtesy of [info]constantia.)

Edited at 2009-06-24 01:53 am UTC

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[info]moosehead_beer
2009-06-23 01:22 pm UTC (link)
If a tree fucks in a forest and no one's around to hear it climax, does it make a sound?

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 01:57 am UTC (link)
No. Trees are graceful little mimes when it comes to fornication. All their orgies are perfectly soundless, and perfectly passive, and every ejaculation is like a silent moment of Zen, except for one particular tropical fern, which, I have on good authority, would always loudly bellow "HHHRRRRNNG!!" in Ron Jeremy's voice.

I'm led to believe natives burnt every specimen, as the fern would only grow near canyons particularly susceptible to echo.

Edited at 2009-06-24 02:03 am UTC

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[info]hellmutt
2009-06-24 05:27 pm UTC (link)
They do make sounds. You're hearing them now. If you sped them up by several thousand times, you'd hear a woody chorus of "oh god, right there, don't stop".

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[info]petronivs
2009-06-23 01:32 pm UTC (link)
You've been reading the pansexual "Fangorn Orgy" lost unpublished Tolkien manuscript, haven't you?

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 02:02 am UTC (link)
Tolkien's finest hour in the field of shrubbery pornography cannot in the merest detail capture the horror of a billion savage poplars turning their lustful, leafy eyes at poor Mother Nature. The horror. The horror.

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[info]davywavy
2009-06-23 01:48 pm UTC (link)
Pollen is just vegetable bukkake.

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 02:07 am UTC (link)
My sanity does not tolerate the word "bukkake" to be used in conjunction with any phenomenon that turns the entire neighbourhood into a whirling mass of unindentified white procreation-y stuff.

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[info]hellmutt
2009-06-24 05:25 pm UTC (link)
POPLAR CIRCLE JERK!

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 11:30 pm UTC (link)
MY COURTYARD IS A BAD GERMAN PORN FLICK.

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[info]kadeshaderow
2009-06-23 09:41 pm UTC (link)
If you start scrubbing your arms with steel wool this friendship is terminated.

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-24 02:09 am UTC (link)
My arms are, at the moment, mercifully devoid of any holes I might need to live. It's my nose I'm worried about.

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[info]partaveikko
2009-06-25 02:09 pm UTC (link)
Somebody had to do this:

Madness? THIS - IS - PARTAAAAAAAAA!

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[info]zenicurean
2009-06-25 10:51 pm UTC (link)
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